Knock knock
WHO'S THERE?
Two sheep and four goats
TWO SHEEP AND FOUR GOATS WHO?
Two sheep and four goats that came into our yard today and if they are yours, please come get them!!!!
It didn't quite go down like that but you get the idea. For the first time in forever I didn't have to pick up Juliet from preschool. Our neighbors picked her up when they got their daughter so they could spend the evening playing together. Sweet! Allen had to work late at school which meant no kid, no dinner to make.....sweet! An evening all to myself to just relax. Or so I thought!
I decided to hit up Walmart on my way home and linger in all the isles I normally can't shop in with Juliet (hair care, make up, cookie isle - Mom's you know what I'm talking about). I finally leave and head home, listening to the radio so loud it almost hurt. But with no kid in the car I couldn't resist.
I get down the drive. Everything seems unusually quiet. I haul my bags of goodies in when I see a note taped to the door:
"If you have sheep and goats we have them. Call ###-####".
Oh crap.
Here's the thing people, we bought these guys when they were pretty little. We brought them home, fed them, loved them, let them roam about with never a problem with them going too far (they ALWAYS stayed close for meal-time). We never bought a horse trailer or anything like that.
Never needed it.
Until today.
I called the number and a sweet old lady answered. Told me where she lived (not too far) and said, "come get them". I stammered some apology as I realized in my mind I had no way of getting those little stinkers back home. Heck, two of those goats hate us and won't even let us touch them-how on earth am I supposed to catch them, let alone get them into the back of my car.
I figured I'd go find the house and see how far away it was. Reality-a quarter of a mile maybe? Well they were mildly happy to see me and after lots of calling, pleading, begging and swearing (just kidding....mostly) they followed me to the car.
I tried getting in and driving slow hoping they would follow [insert maniacal laugh here]. Not gonna happen. The only way these stinkers were going to cooperate was if I RAN -not walked with them all the way back to our house. Every time I stopped to walk, they stopped to eat. So run it was [I.DO.NOT.RUN].
Did I mention that to keep them moving the older gentleman also had to follow us down the road on his riding lawn mower? Yes, 6 little beasts hoofing it down the road-me trying to plod along with them with a riding lawn mower bringing up the rear. {I won't even go into the guy that passed us on the road and just HAD to stop and ask questions. WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M DOING? This is ARKANSAS, it can't be the first time you've seen this!!!! Move along. PLEASE move along!!!!!}
Now, our driveway is not short so that in itself was a trek. I finally get those little stinkers locked up and make small talk with said new neighbor friend on riding lawn mower. We both look awkwardly at each other, both realizing that I now have to walk ALL THE WAY BACK TO MY CAR. I say something like, "well I better go get some sneakers on" (because yes-this had all been done in FLOP-FLOPS up till now).
New neighbor friend took pity on me and says, "Well, you can hop on of ya' like". *sigh* What am I going to say, NO? It is hot, my feet are tired and yes please, I will go ahead and sit on the front of your riding lawn mower with my feet dangling over so you can very slowly drive me back to my car.
To top things off, the dog refused to stay put - the same dog that is supposed to Shepard and protect our little heard. He follows us the whole way back to my car. He refuses to jump in the car so I now have to drive 5mph and repeatedly call his name to get HIM back home too.
I arrive back home and pour myself a stiff drink.
YOU GOATS ARE GROUNDED! No more free-ranging it.
Cheers. Happy Friday everyone.
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